Monday, May 17, 2010

Just a happy girl

I ran into a little man from Panama today. No, I didn't hit him with my car, but I met him after dinner as I was walking back to my dorm. He's visiting from Panama because he helps orchestrate trips that my college takes to Panama. He was probably about half a foot shorter than me, but the joy he had radiated from him. He was very nice, and he told me he was a pastor in Panama.

As we were talking, which ended up being for thirty minutes, he told me that I was very pretty, but that I also seemed very happy with myself. I think that's the nicest compliment I've been paid in a long time. It was so nice. As I walked away from this enlightening conversation, I thanked God for it. He told me I seemed happy, and I am happy. I'm happy with the direction my life is headed. I'm happy with me. Yeah, I may not be a size 6 and some days I don't do as well as could in college with classes and all that, but I'm happy. I have so much to be happy for.

But more than just happiness, I know that God has filled my life with joy. If joy wasn't in my heart, I wouldn't be happy. I love taking a situation that could be just downright awful and making it better. Whether that includes a little sarcasm or just knowing that the situation could always be worse; I know that God has put this joy in my heart. I love to laugh. I absolutely love to laugh. A belly laugh that ends up hurting so badly you can't breathe is one of my favorite things.

I realized after this little Panamanian man told me I was happy that despite how often I complain about my appearance or my size that things could be worse. I can get around, I can move, I'm pretty healthy. I'm pretty happy with what life has thrown me. I'm excited that God has allowed me to go on this trip halfway across the world. He's given me a passion for his Word that I get to take to others; a passion for the gift that God has given the world.

Yes, I am happy. God is good. Life is wonderful. I am blessed beyond reason. ....And I only have four more days of school. Yay. Well, I must study for five finals. And I don't know if I will post again before I leave, but you better believe I'll have lots to post when I get back. Pictures galore.

Friday, May 7, 2010

A Simple Girl

I like the way cedar wood smells. I don't know what it is about that smell, but I really do like it. Someday I want a big desk in an apartment where I can have my laptop and books and folders all spread out. I want an Alaskan Husky someday. And I want to teach. I want to teach students how to love English and how to fall in love with words. I am simple. This is who God created me to be and that's okay.

A few circumstances happened this week that caused me to realize just how sheltered I still am. Even though I don't live with my parents anymore and even though I'm not under their control all the time, I still have the same mindset I did when I lived at home. I'm still naive about so many things. I'm inexperienced with so many areas of life. And I'm just simple. It doesn't take much to make me happy. God has made me a complex human being in the physical sense of the word because anyone who can watch TV and hold a conversation on the phone while being on the Internet is a little complex (yes I can do all these things at the same time). But when it comes down to it, I don't require much. Simple movies about two people falling in love work fine. A walk in the park is a fine activity for me. One or two people is all the company I need. Any more and I need to leave.

The world would tell me that I should broaden my horizons. The world would try to persuade me to become more experienced and know more about the elements of life. But what is wrong with being simple, innocent? What is wrong with having dreams that may not entail the biggest and the grandest of goals? God creates us to be who he wants us to be. I have no problem being simple. I would rather be inexperienced than hurt so many times by the world that waking up everyday is difficult.

I like a hand-written letter. I like the long sigh that comes after a heart-felt belly laugh, especially when two people have that long sigh at the same time. We, as humans, may be complex creatures with complex systems raging inside of us, but God gave us the capacity to value the simplicity of life. I love a good play, especially when the people in it are people you know. They simply become someone totally different and they are no longer Zach or Holly. They become a new individual who doesn't know who Zach or Holly is.

When people ask me what I love to do, I usually say I love to write. Most people get this look on their faces that says, "Really?" And yes, although it may be unorthodox and maybe a little boring, that is what makes me so unbelievably happy. That and reading. :)

So yes, I may be a simple girl with simple wishes and simple dreams, but maybe in all actuality they really aren't simple at all. After all, they are from God.