Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stress-free . . . and okay with it

Life has been so crazy lately. If I don't have homework or an impending task at hand for one class, then I have it for something else. The good news is that I only have two and a half weeks of classes left, a week of finals, and then I'm done, for this semester anyway. And I only have two finals, so that is wonderful.

I've come to the point in the semester when I still care about my work, papers, and tests and everything else I have to do, but I've lost that sense of urgency and motivation that I had at the beginning of the semester. I just get burnt out and don't want to do any of the work anymore. But I think God understands this too. For example, I'm in a Shakespeare class this semester, and every day our professor starts the class with a quiz over the assigned reading. Well, today she surprised us. We celebrated Shakespeare's birthday, although a little late, and she told us the quiz was cancelled. That just made my day because I had read the material, but I didn't read it as thoroughly as I should have. I wanted to read it, but I simply did not have the time. And I know the party, however of a simple, silly thing it was, was a blessing from God.

I still have quite a bit to do this semester. I have a test tomorrow in Victorian Literature; I'm taking cupcakes to my field experience classrooms tomorrow and Thursday morning; I have the Praxis on Saturday; I have a poem I'm presenting next Wednesday, which requires a lot of research; I have a paper due in Shakespeare before the final, and I also have a paper due in Victorian Literature before the final as well. Oh, and did I mention I have to grade seven essays before next Thursday and finish all of my education paperwork? Yeah, I have to do that too.

But I'm not stressed. I don't think God wants to be stressed. I'm tired of being stressed. This does not mean I will not get my work done or slack off. It's just that maybe, if I don't kill myself trying to study for tests or beat myself up if I don't prepare enough, it will be okay. Twenty years from now, no one will care about how I do on the test I will take tomorrow. Now, of course, I care right now, and that's what makes it hard. It's all about balance.

So yes, this is my life right now. Crazy, crazy, busy, busy. But I know in about three and a half weeks, I'll get a break, a much needed and deserved break, if I do say so myself. Then I will work at camp over the summer, experience God do amazing things, and come back for my senior year of college and my last semester of actual classes. Yay!

So yes, life is good.

Hope you are enjoying the rain or sun or whatever weather you are blessed with.

Until next time,
God Bless

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Eating My Words

In the past two and a half years, I've learned a lot, but in the past two and a half months, I think I've learned even more.

I've made some judgments and told people some things that I thought I meant, and I think I really did mean them at the time. But in the past couple of weeks, God has allowed me to eat my words. God changed my perspective on quite a few things and humbled me, greatly humbled me.

I had a conversation with my dad a couple of weeks ago that was a good awakening moment. He reminded me why I'm in college and that this time in my life is supposed to be fun, not filled with confusion and grief. I had been looking for the bad in a lot of things when really, a lot of good could be found in those things.

I sometimes get so focused on what I have to do that I forget that college is more than just grades and if I studied enough for this test or that. This should be one of the most fun times of my life, building relationships and spending time with people who will matter. I've overlooked so many important things in the past two and a half months, things I'm honestly ashamed that I've done.

But I know God has given me a chance to fix things and make things better. Even in the past two weeks my attitude has changed, and I'm just more joyful about life, which I think if one is a follower of Christ, joy is a good thing to have.

I think God has taken this time to jar me a little, to show me that I have a year left of college, and I should make it count.

Speaking of some fun I've been having, last Saturday, my roommate and I went to the school where she did her student teaching and we helped work a carnival. It was a lot of fun, and it confirmed the fact that I'm not supposed to each at the elementary level. I love little kids, but I would never want to teach them.

Here's a picture of Mel and myself before we left for the carnival. It was a warm day, so we thought we'd wear cute spring dresses.

So, yes, I've been eating my words. But you know what? They kind of taste good.

Until next time,
God Bless