So, we have around two and a half weeks of classes left plus a week of finals. I'm glad this semester is finally winding down. It's been busy, but not as busy as last semester. It doesn't seem possible that this time next month, I will be half way across the world in Asia. I can't believe it. And I will have enough hours underneath my belt to call myself a junior in college. That means that I will be half way done with college. Ahhhh!!!!! That doesn't seem possible.
But it's been a good first half. I've learned lots of things. Being on the newspaper staff has taught me a lot as well. I was also told today by one of my guy friends that I have a glow about me that wasn't there last semester. It was nice to hear that. I think I'm not as up tight and serious as I have been, um, let's see, my whole life. I've always been this uptight "Christian" girl who has had this ideal that you can't have fun and still be a Christian. News flash: you can. You can have lots of fun.
Anyway, I've been offered a position at our school's writing center. It is a place for students to come and get help with papers and English stuff. Stuff that I like. It would be so much less stress than the newspaper would be. I would be done by four every afternoon, I wouldn't have deadlines or interviews, and it would be just less stress in general. The only thing that would stop that from happening is if they couldn't get another campus employment spot for me because I don't qualify for work study. I just know this would help with English learning in general and just being more aware of English rules. I would love it. (I sound like a nerd. :) )
I've been learning more about where I stand with God. I think I've been rushing this maturing process. Not that I'm rebelling against God or anything, but I think I've been trying to learn things and be someone I'm not. I have an ideal in my head of what my "Christian" walk with the Lord should look like, but that's just it. It's an ideal. It's a perfect picture. The realistic picture of walking with Christ through life is a relationship, not an ideal version of something. It's messy and gross and sometimes, you just have to learn things for yourself despite what you've been told all your life. I'm finally learning what the phrase "making your faith your own" really means. In a way, it means finding God on your own terms and getting to know him in a relationship. Not in the way your Baptist Sunday school teacher said was the right way 15 years ago, but the way the Bible says to. I'm not saying the Sunday school teacher was wrong, but the faith I have in God has to be real for me for it to work. I don't know if I'm making any sense here.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the notion of a quiet time. I don't like that notion. How logical of a scenario is this? Let's say I were to get married. The only thing is that I only talked to my husband for an hour out of the day. Just one hour. Then, for the rest of the day, I didn't even acknowledge his presence. That's not a relationship. That's just weird. I don't know what that is. It's certainly not logical. What's the point of being married to someone if you're not going to talk to them? I think God probably feels the same with us. Why are we even in a relationship with him if we don't communicate with him ALL THE TIME? And it's not like we need an appointment or a reservation to talk to God. He's always free. This has kind of bitten me in the butt a little bit lately. I've been so focused on just having that one time of the day when I talk to him that I haven't talked to him at all. And that is not okay. I think it just took a little bit of stepping back and getting back to the basics of what my relationship with God is, right now. Not what I want it to be or what it used to be. But what it is and where God, not myself, wants to take it.
So, yeah, just some things I've been thinking about lately.
The semester is winding down, but right when it will be over, it will pick back up again. Please pray for our team as we prepare for our mission trip. Thank you.
Until next time.
1 comment:
That job sounds really good. I hope it works out for you.
I know what you mean about our relationship with God. You are absolutely correct. He wants an ongoing relationship with us, not just once a day. These days I am doing good to pray throughout my day but I have not been doing good about having quiet time. Having kids helps remind me to pray often:). I definitely need his help more so than ever before:).
I hope your final weeks and exams go well. Love you and miss you!
Love, Lea
P.S. The boys and I were looking at the globe today and I showed them where you would be going. They are so funny. They kept pointing to various places and saying they were flying to there and then to there and they would have to sleep on the plane. Very funny. When they were playing outside today, they turned off the freezer in the garage. Not so funny. I could not get it to turn back on but Paul came home early and he fixed it. They are always thinking up something.
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