Fighting Back

(Warning: this is a long post.)

I posted a few days ago that I was giving up television and movies for a month. So far, it's been a week since I've watched any serious TV or watched a movie. Sometimes if I'm at someone's house, they'll have the TV or something, but I make a point not to focus on it or engage in conversation with someone. Tonight, I really wanted to watch a movie with my roommie, but we ended up walking around campus instead. It was so much fun. And it's amazing how much one can get done, especially homework, when one is not glued to a computer or TV screen.

When I returned from the retreat this last weekend, God showed me so much in my life that needs to change. A lot of it can change with my actions, but a lot with my though processes as well.

I know a lot of people in my stage of life, thinking about the future and all, we want to make sure the choices we make fall into the will of God. But think about that statement. God's will for our lives has been in place since the beginning of time. He knows what we're going to do every day for the rest of our lives. Tons of ideas bounce around in my head concerning a career and the future. I could graduate and get a job teaching high school English. I could stay in school and get my master's degree. I could teach English overseas and use that as a mission opportunity. So many options lay before me, but I'm not worried about what I'm supposed to do. God has it already figured out. He just wants me to pick one. The speaker at our retreat last weekend made a good statement. He said that God isn't so much concerned about geography, but that we have a heart willing to go anywhere.

Our speaker also talked about marriage a lot, go figure, since he does a lot of marriage counseling. He talked about how so many young people are worried about whom God has for them to marry. But we shouldn't, nor do we have any right, to worry. God already has that person set in stone. He knows who it is. What we should focus on, instead of that person we've never met, is ourselves. We should be focusing on becoming the person of God we are supposed to be for that person God has for us. Yes, we can pray for our future spouses and ask that God prepares them for marriage, but worrying about them is not going to change anything. What we can change are our sinful ways.

Some of the practical applications that really touched me were how much time and money I spend on myself. I haven't gone shopping as much as I used to. It's just so hard for me to spend money on myself, especially for clothes and things I don't need, when kids starve all over the world and they have nothing. I have enough clothes; I have enough food; God has blessed me with everything I need. So cutting back on spending is really one that spoke to me. Another was the whole TV and movies thing, which I had already given up for one month.

One thing the speaker said that stood out to me was "Fall in love with making other people happy more than yourself." How often do I live by this? How often do I lay my own selfish desires at the feet of the cross and serve others?

One opportunity God has provided for me to serve is tomorrow. An organization will be at our local YMCA called Convoy of Hope. They set up and allow underprivileged families the chance to come in and receive free dental work, free photographs, free haircuts, free food, a chance to hear the gospel and a place for kids to lose their minds and go crazy. So I'm helping with the kids zone tomorrow from 7-4. I'm excited. It will be fun to get more involved with the people of this community.

And another way God has allowed me to serve is that I'm returning to South Asia this January. God is so infinitely good. When I found out this past week, I just wanted to cry with joy. I had a pretty good hunch I would get to go, but when I got the okay, I was ecstatic.

But with all these changes with my actions and my thought and prayer life, I've felt the heat from the enemy. One day this past week, I was in one of my classes, and I was a little frustrated just because of certain things taking place. When I returned to the dorm, I was just so upset and I ended up calling my dad. He had me talk through what was going on, and he made me feel a lot better. I was blowing a little bitty problem out of proportion, and by the time I had that class later in the week, it was much better. I've been extraordinarily busy with the paper and trying to get articles and interviews done, but I'm also thankful for this job. I've met so many people through interviews that I never would've elsewhere. I'm on staff with nine other Christian girls who are so fun to be around and so uplifting. We really do have a fun time in that office.

So yes, the old saying that when you grow closer to God, Satan fights a little harder. Well, I can fight back too. I can fight with prayer and getting in the Word and surrounding myself with people who can encourage me. I've been able to really plug in with my church and my college pastor and his wife. His wife and I have been able to hang out more, and I'm teaching her how to knit so that has allowed us to bond there as well.

Next weekend I'm going home to celebrate my 21st birthday. That just DOES NOT seem possible. I'm bringing one of my best friends home with me, and I'm super stoked. She's amazing and she makes me laugh so much. God has truly blessed me to put her in my life.

So yes, life is busy and crazy and classes are hard and I have a ton of work due this next week, but God is so good. He's absolutely amazing, and if he's taught me one thing this past week, he's taught me that He is enough above all else. He loves me more than I can ever imagine, and I desire to love him even more.

Well, now that I've written half a book, I'll bid you goodnight.
God Bless.