Rend Your Heart

I went back to my college church today. It was so nice. It felt like returning home. The people there are so great, and I'm actually going to get involved with a small group this year. I'm going to my first one tonight.

I've had a problem lately with beating myself up after maybe I've eaten too much and haven't worked out, or spent too much money, or not doing well enough in a class. I know I shouldn't do this. But this morning when I woke up, I felt so dirty and so guilty. I hated how I felt. I prayed this morning while I was getting ready that God would speak to me today at church. Well, he more than answered my prayer.

This morning in the college class we were in Joel chapter 2 starting in verse 12. If you haven't read Joel in a while, you should read it. I was so good. It convicted me so much. In the midst of working on the newspaper, working out almost every morning before classes, and then trying to manage all my classes, I haven't spent very much time with God, whether that be praying or just sitting at his feet and reading his Word. But in a way I feel that if I leave those other things behind then they won't get done. I get so down on myself if I don't eat very well and then gain weight. I was doing so good this summer, and now I get back and it's so hard again. So if I substitute my workouts with my quiet time will I still have time to work out? Will I gain weight? If I don't stress about my classes as much will I still do as well? Or is God trying to teach me that the world doesn't revolve around getting A's.

As you can see, this is a problem I've been battling for awhile. I have three tests this week and to be honest, I'm not motivated to study for any of them. It's awful. I just really need to pray to keep God as my number one priority no matter what. I know I need to give everything to him, but it's so hard. I guess it's as it says in Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all its righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." I trust that. It's hard to trust that, but I have the courage to trust it.

I hope your week goes well. May God bless it.