The Call to Trust

Sometimes, our purpose in life and the method of how and why we do the things we do just makes sense. Other times, they don't make sense. Today was one of those days for me. I feel as though today was a whirlwind. It just kind of came and went, and it was hard for me to grasp anything in it. But now that it has past, I can feel its effects. Right now, I am a junior in college. If all goes as it should, I am set to graduate in May 2012. As of this moment, I don't know what God has in store for me or what I will do when they hand me my diploma. I have a ton of options, but my desire is to pursue the right one, the one God has for me. One option I have is, of course, to pursue what I have been building up to these past two and three quarter years: teaching. It just kind of makes sense to apply at high schools and begin my teaching career. This is definitely an appealing option. I could settle down, get involved with teaching and whatever local church I find, and just begin to live life as an independent adult. Another option I have, which would probably come after a few years of teaching, is to pursue my passion for writing. If you do not know, I have written a full-length novel and have been told that it is publishable material by a very reputable company. The only drawback to that at this point in time is that this company wanted me to put down the funds to publish the book. With my monthly salary being as slight as it is, this just wasn't going to happen, especially for the sum they wanted. But just knowing that my work is worth publishing gives me hope that maybe someday it could happen. The final option I have considered for quite some while not actually telling many people is to go overseas and serve for two years. The International Mission Board has a program called Journeyman. I won't go to into every detail here, but this program sends out college graduates up to the age of twenty-six who the company feels is well-equipped to serve overseas in a cooperating country for two years. I have been to South Asia twice, and on my first trip, our team worked with two Journeymen who were working under the leadership of long-term missionaries there on the field. So seeing them in action with us on the field really sparked an interest in me. I haven't been able to let that go since then, and it's almost been a year since my first trip. This past trip I took just reinforced all those reasons of why I should pursue Journeyman. Many pros and cons exist with this option, as they do for all the other options. But this has been the option, the "what-if," that has been the most difficult to get out of my head. I know God allowed me to go to South Asia for a reason. I don't want to pass up an opportunity to go and share the love of God with people who need it all over the world. But I also know I can do that here as well. So tonight, all of this kind of came crashing down on me at once. I felt myself tensing up and getting stressed out about it. I ended up working out for about an hour and a half tonight, and after I was done, I had a different look at the whole thing, a look I should've had from the beginning (thank you, endorphins). These options I'm mulling over, this so-called "plan" I think I have for my life is nothing compared to what God has for me. God doesn't call me to know right now. His word doesn't say I have to know what I'll be doing in two years. His word says I need to trust. When I think about that, about trusting and knowing God is in control, it takes such a burden off me. I'm no longer pressured to figure all this out. God will do that for me. If Journeyman is something God has purposed for my life, then He'll equip me and move my heart toward that. If I'm supposed to get a job and teach and impact students here, then He will move my heart to that as well. When we quiet our busy minds and remember the great reaches of God's control and power, we receive that nice dose of humility, knowing that nothing we do is good enough and that we can do nothing on our own. So maybe whirlwind days aren't so bad after all. God can take a day that didn't seem to make sense in the midst of it, but then show us how every minute of that day was for His glory. Well, enjoy the rest of your week. Until next time, God Bless.