Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Learning a Lesson

God recently taught me a very profound lesson. Only in the past couple of weeks have I really understood the gravity of that lesson.

I won't go into details of what's been going on in my life, but to put it frankly when the big turning point took place, I wasn't too thrilled about it. It's been hard to move past what happened, but last night as I was having a hard time going to sleep, I understood what I had to do. I have to let go of this part of my life. It happened for a reason, and I learned so much from it. The college minister of my church put it this way the other night at small group.

He said that when we come to God to give him stuff that we don't want anymore, and when we come palms up, there's always that chance that we might snatch back what we "want" to give him. But when we come to him hands down and let go of all that we don't need anymore, gravity or God, take your pick, takes it from us and there's no getting it back. I told God last night that I was letting go of this situation. I was disappointed, granted, but I know that it was God's will.

I was talking with my best friend tonight, and she mentioned how she works at this after school program with kids and how a few of the kids are so neglected and mistreated in their home lives. You're probably wondering what this has to do with me. Well, I've thought a lot recently about love and the future and one day having a family. But what my friend said tonight made me realize that not only do I know squat about having kids or raising kids, but that I don't even know anything about being in a dating relationship, let alone being married.

God let all this happened to me so that I would realize that he does want me to live each day to the fullest and take life slow. He wants me to enjoy the times I have to be single and hang out with friends and do "single" stuff. And while I'm doing all this "single" stuff, he'll teach me in those times what it is I need to know for the future. Heck, I'm only 20 years old. I still have so much life to live. I'm just glad God used this past month to show me all of this without it breaking my heart.

I feel like I've been smacked in the head, and all I can say is, "Well, duh." This totally makes sense now. God doesn't expect me to know what a 25 year old would know because, news flash, I'm not 25 yet. But when I am 25, I'll look back on this time and praise God for my days of being single. And while I get to experience all these incredible days, God will romance me and love me and keep reminding me over and over how unfailing and wonderful his love truly is.

I'm just so happy I learned this. It's so refreshing. Looking back about a month ago, I wouldn't have wanted to hear what I'm writing now. But I know I needed to learn it. It taught me to slow down and enjoy every single day God gives me.

So, live your life, whether single or married or whatever. But live it with intensity and purpose because God gives each day to you for a purpose.

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