I read my Bible last night and came across this verse in Psalms. It reads, "Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare" (Psalm 40:5).
I really like this verse because it reassures me that even though my little ole life seems to just poke along sometimes, I can be reassured that the things God planned for me in the beginning of time are too numerous for me to even try to count. It's unfathomable.
College....
Classes.....
When I will graduate.......
Marriage.....
Who it will be......
When it will be......
Job.....
What job I will actually get.....
Where it will be......
Money.....
Will I have enough of it......
Will I let it control me......
Time.....
How fast will time go before any of this happens.........
Where has the time already gone......
Love.....
Will I find a man who will truly love me......
Do I even know what true love is......
God knows that all of these things float around in my head all the time. He should; he put them there. Yes, the waiting is hard. It always has been. But through that waiting comes patience, strength, endurance, consistency, and so many other qualities that I haven't learned yet because I still wait.
But it's okay because God has a plan. I think about that sometimes and marvel at the fact that God knows exactly what is going to happen to me minute by minute for the rest of my life. And not only does he just know that about me, but he knows that about everyone. He's a pretty busy God. But I'm sure glad he does know.
More than anything right now, God asks me just to slow down and hear him speak to me. He wants to show me what that true love is and to know that in his arms, no other love matters but his. He will never break my heart; he will never disappoint. He will never leave me; he will never forget to call. He loves with a kind of love that I have only slightly glimpsed.
Well, that said, classes were good today. I only had two. I'll have three more tomorrow, and then I'll have a better scope to how the semester will go. It's just so nice to be back. I love being home with the family, but being back and being on my own is wonderful. And I have a room to myself this semester so that is nice too.
Now that I've written half my life story I will say goodbye. Until the next time.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Enjoying my break
I'm on break from school right now, and I'm enjoying it immensely. I can't get over how fast the semester flew by. But I learned many things this semester, although that information is for another post altogether.
My Christmas was great, and it was so nice to see family. I didn't get to go to Tulsa as early as I wanted because we had a beautiful, but terrible blizzard on Christmas Eve which prevented travel for the next two or three days. That was kind of a disappointment, but I'm here now, and all is well.
I'm excited to get back to school. I miss seeing my friends and miss the groove of my everyday routine with classes, newspaper, and everything else I do.
I was talking with a friend, and he mentioned how he hoped that 2010 was better than 2009. I thought that was kind of a funny statement, although I can see where he was coming from. I can honestly say that I hope the same. What is 2010 going to bring? God teaches me how to trust him in new ways everyday. I know that he will continue to teach me how to trust him. Trusting is not an easy thing. It takes courage, and ultimately, it takes faith. I have to come to the point where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever I have going on in my life that God is going to take care of it. He will take care of it better than what I could ever imagine. It's just that little step in between when I say, "Okay, God, here it is. Here's all my junk that I can't handle," that is the hardest. What if the end result is not what I would have planned for myself? What if trusting God is scary? Well, the Christian walk is scary; the Bible says that. God never said it would be easy, no sir. But he did say he would be with us every step of the way.
So, no, I don't know what 2010 will hold. But I do know that yes, whatever happens, it will be for God's glory, and it will be a great year.
Happy New Years to you all.
My Christmas was great, and it was so nice to see family. I didn't get to go to Tulsa as early as I wanted because we had a beautiful, but terrible blizzard on Christmas Eve which prevented travel for the next two or three days. That was kind of a disappointment, but I'm here now, and all is well.
I'm excited to get back to school. I miss seeing my friends and miss the groove of my everyday routine with classes, newspaper, and everything else I do.
I was talking with a friend, and he mentioned how he hoped that 2010 was better than 2009. I thought that was kind of a funny statement, although I can see where he was coming from. I can honestly say that I hope the same. What is 2010 going to bring? God teaches me how to trust him in new ways everyday. I know that he will continue to teach me how to trust him. Trusting is not an easy thing. It takes courage, and ultimately, it takes faith. I have to come to the point where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever I have going on in my life that God is going to take care of it. He will take care of it better than what I could ever imagine. It's just that little step in between when I say, "Okay, God, here it is. Here's all my junk that I can't handle," that is the hardest. What if the end result is not what I would have planned for myself? What if trusting God is scary? Well, the Christian walk is scary; the Bible says that. God never said it would be easy, no sir. But he did say he would be with us every step of the way.
So, no, I don't know what 2010 will hold. But I do know that yes, whatever happens, it will be for God's glory, and it will be a great year.
Happy New Years to you all.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Repacking my suitcase
As you know, I've been seeing a counselor for about two months now. It has helped so much, and hopefully sometime next semester I won't have to go anymore at all. But only time will tell.
Yesterday, I had an appointment with my counselor and we talked about how I have changed so much since I was in high school. I told her that I feel like that the person I used to be is no longer here and that a new person is here. For some reason, I'd been feeling bad about that, thinking that I was supposed to stay the same forever. I don't know why I thought that though.
We also talked about some of the things I learned from my parents while I still lived at home. The things I learned were all good things, but maybe some of those things don't apply to my life as much right now as they used to. My counselor said that it was time to unpack and then repack my suitcase. She said that those things that I don't need anymore need to be taken out and that the things I do want need to be put in.
I had never thought of it that way. I didn't know it was okay to change. I mean it makes sense. I'm not going to be the same person in ten years who I am now. So it makes sense that I'm not the same person I was when I was 16. My morals and beliefs are still the same, but I'm doing things and acting upon things because of what I believe, not because of what my parents tell me to do. I still honor the lessons and important things my parents taught me, but now they have become mine as well.
My counselor said that it was time to turn over a new leaf. It was time to repack my suitcase and start having fun with life. Not too much fun, but enough fun where I'm not on the verge of tears every day. My mom tells me to do one fun thing every day. I agree with her.
I can't believe that I have one week of this semester left. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just yesterday it was the first day of Astronomy and I was so stressed because I thought I was going to fail the class. Well, I thank all of you who prayed for me. I can gladly say that class is over and that I have an A in it. Woot Woot. I'm so happy.
I'm so excited to go home for Christmas. To see my friends and family and enjoy this Christmas season in a new, exciting fun way. Maybe I'll be spontaneous here and there. Life needs to be more fun than we make it.
So in about a week I'll be repacking my suitcase.....in more than one way.
May God bless you and Merry Christmas.
Yesterday, I had an appointment with my counselor and we talked about how I have changed so much since I was in high school. I told her that I feel like that the person I used to be is no longer here and that a new person is here. For some reason, I'd been feeling bad about that, thinking that I was supposed to stay the same forever. I don't know why I thought that though.
We also talked about some of the things I learned from my parents while I still lived at home. The things I learned were all good things, but maybe some of those things don't apply to my life as much right now as they used to. My counselor said that it was time to unpack and then repack my suitcase. She said that those things that I don't need anymore need to be taken out and that the things I do want need to be put in.
I had never thought of it that way. I didn't know it was okay to change. I mean it makes sense. I'm not going to be the same person in ten years who I am now. So it makes sense that I'm not the same person I was when I was 16. My morals and beliefs are still the same, but I'm doing things and acting upon things because of what I believe, not because of what my parents tell me to do. I still honor the lessons and important things my parents taught me, but now they have become mine as well.
My counselor said that it was time to turn over a new leaf. It was time to repack my suitcase and start having fun with life. Not too much fun, but enough fun where I'm not on the verge of tears every day. My mom tells me to do one fun thing every day. I agree with her.
I can't believe that I have one week of this semester left. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just yesterday it was the first day of Astronomy and I was so stressed because I thought I was going to fail the class. Well, I thank all of you who prayed for me. I can gladly say that class is over and that I have an A in it. Woot Woot. I'm so happy.
I'm so excited to go home for Christmas. To see my friends and family and enjoy this Christmas season in a new, exciting fun way. Maybe I'll be spontaneous here and there. Life needs to be more fun than we make it.
So in about a week I'll be repacking my suitcase.....in more than one way.
May God bless you and Merry Christmas.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Coffee with God
The other day I was sitting with just my little ole self, and I began wondering what it would be like to have a real-life conversation with God. Yes, I know that we can have conversations with him through prayer and He can speak to us through the Bible and through events that take place in our lives; but what I wonder is what it would be like to sit down in a cafe sitting across from God sipping a latte and listening to the Creator of the universe reveal to me the secrets of his heart.
What would He tell me about my worries and fears that somehow seem to curse me every day? What would He share with me about my most precious dreams and desires that never seem to leave the depths of my heart? What wisdom would he impart to me about the path my future will take and what I'm supposed to do with it?
I know it would be a conversation I would never forget.
Can you imagine that? Just sitting and being with God. Yet that is what he calls us to do even though He isn't physically with us. He may not be with me in the cafe, but I know He is with me in spirit. God calls me to have faith to sit with him in that cafe and still talk with him and still listen to the silence. He reveals many things in the silence; many things I do not ever hear because I am too busy filling my life with superfluous nothings.
This morning in my World Lit. class I had one of these experiences. I just started feeling anxious and my thoughts were going crazy, but I quietly asked God to come and sit with me amidst the chaos of my brain. I imagined him pulling up a chair and sitting beside me, putting his arm around me and whispering truth into my ear all while my professor was lecturing. God was there. He calmed my anxious nerves, and He sat with me for the remainder of the class.
That may not sound like the most orthodox situation, but I think God wants to draw me away from orthodoxy sometimes. He wants to take this box that I try to put him and myself in and chuck it. He gets rid of the box and wants me to experience him in a whole new way. Christianity was never meant to be a set of rules and regulations. It is about an intimate relationship with a savior who loves me beyond what my minuscule scrap of a mind can begin to comprehend.
God has been working on me for a long time now. I know He will never stop, but sometimes I feel the chisel and the fire more than other times. Now is one of those times, but He has used it for his glory. I've been asking him to put a desire in my heart to read his word. Sometimes it's hard to get into his word, but I also know that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. I'm not going to grow without the word of God.
The next time you think you are alone at a cafe, remember this post, and remember that you are never alone, no matter what you think. Have a conversation with God; yeah, people may look at you a little funny talking to the air, but I have a feeling that you'll be doing more listening than talking anyway so you don't have much to worry about. God loves those times when his children come to him and are silent.
So enjoy your coffee and enjoy listening to God.
What would He tell me about my worries and fears that somehow seem to curse me every day? What would He share with me about my most precious dreams and desires that never seem to leave the depths of my heart? What wisdom would he impart to me about the path my future will take and what I'm supposed to do with it?
I know it would be a conversation I would never forget.
Can you imagine that? Just sitting and being with God. Yet that is what he calls us to do even though He isn't physically with us. He may not be with me in the cafe, but I know He is with me in spirit. God calls me to have faith to sit with him in that cafe and still talk with him and still listen to the silence. He reveals many things in the silence; many things I do not ever hear because I am too busy filling my life with superfluous nothings.
This morning in my World Lit. class I had one of these experiences. I just started feeling anxious and my thoughts were going crazy, but I quietly asked God to come and sit with me amidst the chaos of my brain. I imagined him pulling up a chair and sitting beside me, putting his arm around me and whispering truth into my ear all while my professor was lecturing. God was there. He calmed my anxious nerves, and He sat with me for the remainder of the class.
That may not sound like the most orthodox situation, but I think God wants to draw me away from orthodoxy sometimes. He wants to take this box that I try to put him and myself in and chuck it. He gets rid of the box and wants me to experience him in a whole new way. Christianity was never meant to be a set of rules and regulations. It is about an intimate relationship with a savior who loves me beyond what my minuscule scrap of a mind can begin to comprehend.
God has been working on me for a long time now. I know He will never stop, but sometimes I feel the chisel and the fire more than other times. Now is one of those times, but He has used it for his glory. I've been asking him to put a desire in my heart to read his word. Sometimes it's hard to get into his word, but I also know that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. I'm not going to grow without the word of God.
The next time you think you are alone at a cafe, remember this post, and remember that you are never alone, no matter what you think. Have a conversation with God; yeah, people may look at you a little funny talking to the air, but I have a feeling that you'll be doing more listening than talking anyway so you don't have much to worry about. God loves those times when his children come to him and are silent.
So enjoy your coffee and enjoy listening to God.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Four weeks of classes, a week of finals, and then some much needed freedom.
School is slowly but surely starting to wind down, and we only have four more weeks left of classes. I am so happy. I don't think I have ever wanted a break so badly as I want Thanksgiving break. It will be so nice to go home for a week and just relax. I've missed my family so much, especially my mom, and I can't wait to go home and just hang out with them and help my mom cook.
For awhile now, I've been church hopping, just not sure I was going to the right church. This past Sunday I attended the church that I went to most of last year. I knew I was feeling called to go back, and I'm so glad I went. It is definitely where I'm supposed to be. The college minister and his wife also have a small group Bible study at their house on Sunday nights, so I went to that last night too. This Saturday they are having a Thanksgiving dinner for the college students at their house and I'm going to help the wife cook. I'm excited. I don't really know them very well, but I think this will help start a relationship that will last.
I've been seeing a counselor for about two weeks now, and things are improving; however, the improvements are very minuscule. If I am having a bad day or just not feeling good, I'm to the point where I can force myself to do something. A lot of times, I just have to force myself out of my shell. It's not easy, but I manage somehow.
For some time now, my relationship with God has been something of a mystery to me. I know God has been there for me and that he will never leave me. But I'm having to battle this whole idea that our relationship is not based on feelings. It is based on fact. He loves me more than I can or ever will comprehend. I don't deserve that love, and I may not feel loved, but that love is there just the same. God also keeps reminding me how big he is. I know I've talked about that before, but I think I need a reminder of that everyday. This semester my classes have just totally overwhelmed me. Not only has God taught me that I can't handle 18 hours of classes, but he has also taught me that he is bigger than all of it.
I'm still battling a few issues that I'm hoping I can work out by seeing this counselor. I don't want to have to keep battling them for the rest of my life. I know that God doesn't want that either.
I enrolled for classes for the spring semester the other day, and I'm very excited for my schedule. I'm taking history of the English language, New Testament History, Foundations of Education, American Literature 2, and 17th and 18th Century British Lit. I'm also taking my first class of field experience which is just observing teachers in the classroom for education majors. It comes to a grand total of 16 hours with which I am also very pleased. I don't think you could pay me to take 18 hours again. It's not fun. I had to drop my writing minor because I would have had to take 18 hours every semester until I graduate, and I simply told my advisor no. I wasn't going to put myself through all that. And with all the classes I'm taking for the English major I will have taken most of what I would have taken with the writing minor. I'm not really worried about it.
My work on our school newspaper is really going well. I'm enjoying it more than what I thought I would. I've also learned how to manage my time with it and get my work done so I'm not also stressed with school work. I've learned that I have a very sarcastic and sometimes even biting voice when it comes to certain topics. But that's why I'm in charge of the opinion page. It's very fun. I was telling my roommate tonight that tonight in the newspaper office was the first time I pictured myself working for a newspaper after college. I love being able to play with the layout and researching the different topics that I write about. It is quite invigorating.
I'm sitting here in my dorm room listening to Josh Groban's Christmas CD Noel. It's beautiful. What's ironic is that it is around 65 degrees outside. I wish the weather would understand that it is November and change to match the month. I mean I love the warm weather, but I'm ready for the festive cold weather that November is supposed to have.
Oh well, hopefully it will get here sooner than later. I hope everyone is staying well and if you're not, then I hope you get well soon. May God bless you as we begin this holiday season.
Until next time,
Jana
For awhile now, I've been church hopping, just not sure I was going to the right church. This past Sunday I attended the church that I went to most of last year. I knew I was feeling called to go back, and I'm so glad I went. It is definitely where I'm supposed to be. The college minister and his wife also have a small group Bible study at their house on Sunday nights, so I went to that last night too. This Saturday they are having a Thanksgiving dinner for the college students at their house and I'm going to help the wife cook. I'm excited. I don't really know them very well, but I think this will help start a relationship that will last.
I've been seeing a counselor for about two weeks now, and things are improving; however, the improvements are very minuscule. If I am having a bad day or just not feeling good, I'm to the point where I can force myself to do something. A lot of times, I just have to force myself out of my shell. It's not easy, but I manage somehow.
For some time now, my relationship with God has been something of a mystery to me. I know God has been there for me and that he will never leave me. But I'm having to battle this whole idea that our relationship is not based on feelings. It is based on fact. He loves me more than I can or ever will comprehend. I don't deserve that love, and I may not feel loved, but that love is there just the same. God also keeps reminding me how big he is. I know I've talked about that before, but I think I need a reminder of that everyday. This semester my classes have just totally overwhelmed me. Not only has God taught me that I can't handle 18 hours of classes, but he has also taught me that he is bigger than all of it.
I'm still battling a few issues that I'm hoping I can work out by seeing this counselor. I don't want to have to keep battling them for the rest of my life. I know that God doesn't want that either.
I enrolled for classes for the spring semester the other day, and I'm very excited for my schedule. I'm taking history of the English language, New Testament History, Foundations of Education, American Literature 2, and 17th and 18th Century British Lit. I'm also taking my first class of field experience which is just observing teachers in the classroom for education majors. It comes to a grand total of 16 hours with which I am also very pleased. I don't think you could pay me to take 18 hours again. It's not fun. I had to drop my writing minor because I would have had to take 18 hours every semester until I graduate, and I simply told my advisor no. I wasn't going to put myself through all that. And with all the classes I'm taking for the English major I will have taken most of what I would have taken with the writing minor. I'm not really worried about it.
My work on our school newspaper is really going well. I'm enjoying it more than what I thought I would. I've also learned how to manage my time with it and get my work done so I'm not also stressed with school work. I've learned that I have a very sarcastic and sometimes even biting voice when it comes to certain topics. But that's why I'm in charge of the opinion page. It's very fun. I was telling my roommate tonight that tonight in the newspaper office was the first time I pictured myself working for a newspaper after college. I love being able to play with the layout and researching the different topics that I write about. It is quite invigorating.
I'm sitting here in my dorm room listening to Josh Groban's Christmas CD Noel. It's beautiful. What's ironic is that it is around 65 degrees outside. I wish the weather would understand that it is November and change to match the month. I mean I love the warm weather, but I'm ready for the festive cold weather that November is supposed to have.
Oh well, hopefully it will get here sooner than later. I hope everyone is staying well and if you're not, then I hope you get well soon. May God bless you as we begin this holiday season.
Until next time,
Jana
Monday, October 26, 2009
Another Day
So today has been an okay day so far. Since I've last posted, I've turned 20 years old. I don't really feel different, but I'm glad that I can now say that I am 20. That does make me feel older. When I went home two weekends ago, I saw my family and visited my aunt and my two little cousins. It was so good to see them since I probably won't see them again until Thanksgiving.
I get to see my family next week when my mom and dad are coming up to see me get inducted into the National Honor Society. I'm excited to see them since I was going home that weekend, but now I'm not. That should be fun.
Classes aren't going too bad. Astronomy is doing better. Only one more test in that class. I think the reason why I'm not so stessed about my classes is just that I have no motivation to do anything for my classes, like studying or reading, and I also think my body has just kind of become numb to stress. I know that's probably not good, but now when my plate becomes a little overloaded, I just take it with a grain of salt and go on. It's getting better.
I'm going to see a counselor this week, and I'm so glad that I am. My mom and I have been talking recently, and we've discovered part of the reason for my good days and my bad days and what may be a good solution for my slight depression, if that's what I want to call it.
Getting in my Bible is a challenge. Some days I just have no desire to read God's word. I know that's horrible, but that's just now it is. But I honestly think that God would rather me read his word out of desire than out of obligation. Not to say that I shouldn't read it at all, but that I should want to read it when I do.
I've just kind of felt blah lately. I know that God is trying to teach me things about myself and about him, but he is just teaching me so many things and I couldn't try to record them all here.
I really don't know what else is happening in my life. Not too much big news. Yeah, so that's about it.
Hope your day was more exciting than mine.
God Bless.
I get to see my family next week when my mom and dad are coming up to see me get inducted into the National Honor Society. I'm excited to see them since I was going home that weekend, but now I'm not. That should be fun.
Classes aren't going too bad. Astronomy is doing better. Only one more test in that class. I think the reason why I'm not so stessed about my classes is just that I have no motivation to do anything for my classes, like studying or reading, and I also think my body has just kind of become numb to stress. I know that's probably not good, but now when my plate becomes a little overloaded, I just take it with a grain of salt and go on. It's getting better.
I'm going to see a counselor this week, and I'm so glad that I am. My mom and I have been talking recently, and we've discovered part of the reason for my good days and my bad days and what may be a good solution for my slight depression, if that's what I want to call it.
Getting in my Bible is a challenge. Some days I just have no desire to read God's word. I know that's horrible, but that's just now it is. But I honestly think that God would rather me read his word out of desire than out of obligation. Not to say that I shouldn't read it at all, but that I should want to read it when I do.
I've just kind of felt blah lately. I know that God is trying to teach me things about myself and about him, but he is just teaching me so many things and I couldn't try to record them all here.
I really don't know what else is happening in my life. Not too much big news. Yeah, so that's about it.
Hope your day was more exciting than mine.
God Bless.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Makings of a Man
Before I start the main topic of this post, I must say that this week went a little better for me than last week did. It might have been because both of my parents came to visit me, and I was very busy with homecoming stuff that I didn't have much time to think about me. Today at church was much better as well. I tried a new church today where the majority of the people who attend are college students. Almost every face I saw was a familiar one, and it really helped my overall attitude a lot.
What I want to talk about in this post was inspired by what I saw at church today. The church that I attended this morning had a time for people to come to the front of the church and just share with the church what struggles were hindering their walks with Christ. It was kind of testimonial, but also just being real and lifting one another before the Lord. There was prayer for almost everyone who stepped up and shared what was on their heart. It reminded me that I'm not the only person who struggles and goes through bumpy times. Everyone has those times in their life. No one is perfect.
What really shocked me though was how many young men walked before the church and shared these struggles that were hurting so much in their lives. As a young woman of God, I want a strong, Christian man for a husband someday. I need a man who is going to be able to lead our family in the ways of God and who will be the spiritual head of our home. As I watched all these young men file to the front of the church and then back to their seats, I wondered where the bold men of God are. And then I realized the answer: they are there, but they just haven't had an example set before them to follow. Somewhere along the way the ideal strong, Christian husband and father disappeared from the picture. We see less men being leaders and strong dads and husbands because they were never shown what that really looks like.
It almost sounds like it is a never-ending spiral downward with no end. But it's not. One way that young men can be fashioned and shaped into the men of God who they are supposed to be is if we as young women of God will pray for them. Not praying so that God will bring us our husbands faster, but that when he does bring them our way that they will be ready, prepared and willing to lead as God would have them lead. Our men need our prayers. Whether it be our friends, brothers, dads, cousins; whoever they are, they need us to lift them before the Lord.
I know that my dad has set the most awesome example for my brother of how to be a godly husband and father. But what about those young men who know nothing of that earthly example? What are they supposed to do? Somehow, someway, they either will have to look to an earthly mentor or counselor or solely rely on God. God is the best example of a husband and a father that the world has ever known. He loves his bride relentlessly, never loving her any less for her sin or forgetfulness of him. He is a father who craves the intimacy of his children, never loving them any less for their disobedience and stubbornness.
The makings of a man are found in God. You may not be a guy reading this, and if you're not, then pray for each and every man in your life. Pray that somehow God will get a hold of them and they will be the strong, warrior poet men of God that God has called them to be. And if you are a guy reading this whether you've had an earthly example of a godly husband and father or not; look to God as your ultimate example. As women, we need security knowing that the men we marry will be equipped as devoted followers of Christ to lead our families.
I know I need to pray more for the men in my life. I especially need to pray more for the man God has for me instead of complaining that he is not a part of my life yet. I know that God has all of that planned out, and yes, as much as I don't know how to do this sometimes, I have to give God my whole-hearted trust.
This cycle of lazy, slacking husbands and fathers that our generation is seeing more and more of today has to stop somewhere. I believe that if women of prayer will be on their on knees for their men, then it will begin somewhere in the midst of that prayer. It is time to break the silence.
Have a good week,
Jana
What I want to talk about in this post was inspired by what I saw at church today. The church that I attended this morning had a time for people to come to the front of the church and just share with the church what struggles were hindering their walks with Christ. It was kind of testimonial, but also just being real and lifting one another before the Lord. There was prayer for almost everyone who stepped up and shared what was on their heart. It reminded me that I'm not the only person who struggles and goes through bumpy times. Everyone has those times in their life. No one is perfect.
What really shocked me though was how many young men walked before the church and shared these struggles that were hurting so much in their lives. As a young woman of God, I want a strong, Christian man for a husband someday. I need a man who is going to be able to lead our family in the ways of God and who will be the spiritual head of our home. As I watched all these young men file to the front of the church and then back to their seats, I wondered where the bold men of God are. And then I realized the answer: they are there, but they just haven't had an example set before them to follow. Somewhere along the way the ideal strong, Christian husband and father disappeared from the picture. We see less men being leaders and strong dads and husbands because they were never shown what that really looks like.
It almost sounds like it is a never-ending spiral downward with no end. But it's not. One way that young men can be fashioned and shaped into the men of God who they are supposed to be is if we as young women of God will pray for them. Not praying so that God will bring us our husbands faster, but that when he does bring them our way that they will be ready, prepared and willing to lead as God would have them lead. Our men need our prayers. Whether it be our friends, brothers, dads, cousins; whoever they are, they need us to lift them before the Lord.
I know that my dad has set the most awesome example for my brother of how to be a godly husband and father. But what about those young men who know nothing of that earthly example? What are they supposed to do? Somehow, someway, they either will have to look to an earthly mentor or counselor or solely rely on God. God is the best example of a husband and a father that the world has ever known. He loves his bride relentlessly, never loving her any less for her sin or forgetfulness of him. He is a father who craves the intimacy of his children, never loving them any less for their disobedience and stubbornness.
The makings of a man are found in God. You may not be a guy reading this, and if you're not, then pray for each and every man in your life. Pray that somehow God will get a hold of them and they will be the strong, warrior poet men of God that God has called them to be. And if you are a guy reading this whether you've had an earthly example of a godly husband and father or not; look to God as your ultimate example. As women, we need security knowing that the men we marry will be equipped as devoted followers of Christ to lead our families.
I know I need to pray more for the men in my life. I especially need to pray more for the man God has for me instead of complaining that he is not a part of my life yet. I know that God has all of that planned out, and yes, as much as I don't know how to do this sometimes, I have to give God my whole-hearted trust.
This cycle of lazy, slacking husbands and fathers that our generation is seeing more and more of today has to stop somewhere. I believe that if women of prayer will be on their on knees for their men, then it will begin somewhere in the midst of that prayer. It is time to break the silence.
Have a good week,
Jana
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