Poor Mr. Shrivels

So about a week ago, I carved a pumpkin that has sat in front of our door in the hall. The pumpkin carving was an activity between three different halls here in the dorm. It was really fun, but my roomie pointed out yesterday that our pumpkin looked like it had seen better days. She was right. I took a look yesterday and I discovered that it was shriveling and molding. I told her we needed to have a funeral service for it, but instead we just took pictures of it. I went to pick it up today, and I guess I didn't know that pumpkins get mushy when they get old. This one was definitely mushy and gross. I hope you enjoy the pictures. We named it Mr. Shrivels.

My roomie has invited me to go to St. Louis with her this weekend. That's where she's from, and she's going home for Halloween and she's going to surprise her parents because they don't know she's coming. I'm excited. It's been like seven or eight years since I've been to St. Louis. We're supposed to go the Cheesecake Factory and we're going to see High School Musical 3 on the mega screen. We opted to wait to see it this weekend instead of last. I don't know what else we'll do, but I know it will be tons more fun than hanging around here all weekend. Then I'll be here for one week, and then I'm going home. At my high school, it's the last football game, our rival game, the light show that the band puts on, and it's senior night. I can't wait. So far our team is 8-0, and we're hoping for a 10-0 season. We went 9-1 last year so I hope they can do it.

My two tests for the week are over, and I'm so happy. So for the rest of the semester, I only have five classes instead of six. That means that my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are going to be very boring because I will only have one class. Oh, well, I won't complain because next semester I'm going to be taking eighteen hours. I'll enjoy my free time while I can.

Well, I will talk more later. Please be in prayer for our nation and the elections. And if I don't post again before Friday...Happy Halloween!!!

Autumn--A Gift from God

I went for a walk in the park today. I didn't want to go to the gym to walk, even though the gym is heated and it's very cold here. I needed to be out in creation with God, and it was a wonderful walk.

The colors are fading, and I can tell we are drifting further into fall. I've never experienced a fall when it got so cold so fast. When I go home next, I'm definitely taking more summer clothes home and bringing more winter clothes back. But as I was walking through the park, I wished that I could see the colors and atmosphere of fall all year long. It's so refreshing. Today was almost like a scene out of one of my novels. God told me it would all come back next year and that if we did have fall all year long I would get sick of it and start longing for spring, summer, and winter. I just want to hold on to it as long as I can. He told me it was His gift to me and that I am to cherish it for the rest of the season.

It's funny how God works. He creates the four seasons, creates the beautiful colors of fall--colors I could never dream up in a million years--and it all is for the glory of God. Today I must have seen over twenty squirrels all over the park. I saw the geese and the swans and the ducks. None of them were complaining or asking God why He made them that way. They weren't begging to be something else. They were just doing what God created them to do and glorifying Him in the process. I stopped as I gazed out at the magnificent pond. Two geese were gliding over it as if were nothing. I praised God. If I named all the things I praised Him for, it would be too long, but I just praised Him. Throughout this whole walk, one verse came to mind, a verse I ponder often. It's Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God." How many times a day in our busy lives and hectic schedules do we sit down and pause and be still? I just walked and I didn't try to make it complicated. I just knew deep in my heart that He was God. That everything was created by Him and for His glory. That He was my lover and would never leave me. That He was going to take care of every need I could ever imagine. I just had to be still, trust, and know He is God.

I once read something from Elisabeth Elliot in her book Passion and Purity that illustrates this very well. She is talking about the acorn. The simple little acorn that God created starts as a seed in the ground, but it gives life to a beautiful oak tree. Once an oak tree grows and grows, more acorns fall to the ground. The acorn doesn't ask God why it is an acorn or complain that the fall from the tree to the ground hurt. It it as it is because God created it to be an acorn. If the acorn wasn't an acorn, there would be many oak trees missing from this world. Elisabeth Elliot writes as if from God telling us, "Look at the acorn and trust me."

This is a big thing to think about in college. So many things are changing. I've never had to trust so much before in my life. But I am growing in doing so. Right now there are so many things that I don't know the answer to, but I'd rather not know than think I know and have it all wrong. But there is one thing that I do know. I know He is God. That is the only thing I need to know. And until the time comes when I'm supposed to know, I will wait. There is a song that I've been listening to lately that explains this very well. It's called "I Will Wait for You There" by Phil Wickham. It says, I will wait for you there, down on my knees where I met you, give you all of my cares. . . . And with outstretched arms, I will sing a melody. And my beating heart, will pour out a symphony. Hallelujahs in the morning, hallelujahs in the night. I will wait for you as long as I have life. The words and the music all fit together so wonderfully.

As I lamented leaving the park this evening because it closed at six, I embraced and captured the gift God had given me. I will keep it forever. It's so overwhelming standing amidst the beauty of the creator. Autumn is the most beautiful gift God has given the world, and me.

Burrr...The Weather Sure Is Different Up Here!!!

So this week I think the temperatures have slowly decreased with each passing day. I think today was the coldest day we've had so far. They finally turned the heaters on in the dorms. Last night, I was sitting in my room freezing because they hadn't turned them on yet, but the Lord must've heard my prayers because the heaters are roaring tonight.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the college football game to take pictures for yearbook. I'm only going to stay until halftime though because it will probably be cold. After that, one of my friends and me are going to a fun/bigger town about thirty minutes from here to shop and see a movie. She wants to see "Fireproof." I've already seen it, but I told her I would totally see it again. We're going to see a matinee to save money. Then we may go to the mall and maybe Barnes and Noble. We both love to read.

Then on Sunday, my roommate and I are going to try out a new church. After that we're also going to see a matinee of "High School Musical 3." It's kind of cheesy and I didn't want to see it at first, but I'm curious to see how it will be. It's rated G, so I know it won't be bad.

God has been blessing me so much lately. One, gas here is $2.09, and I haven't seen gas that cheap in forever. I love it. Second, my friend Tarah's mom wants me to do my laundry at their house all the time. She lives here in the college town, and just loves when I come over and do my laundry. So tonight we went over to Tarah's and watched TV and laid around. I love the weekends here. They are so slow-paced and relaxed. They're something to look forward to. The third thing is that (and this may sound a little weird) I've been trying to find a really good pair of jeans. I've put on a little weight recently, but my pride has been stopping me from buying a bigger size of jeans. I've been wearing my old ones that I can barely breathe in. So I went to the Maurice's here and I found a really good pair and they are so comfy. I wore them today, I'm going to wear them tomorrow, and I'll probably wear them Sunday. And they are long enough for me. Finding long jeans for a tall girl like me is sometimes a problem, but not these. The fourth thing God has blessed me with is that I got a 97% on my college algebra test that I took on Wednesday. I studied for an overall four hours, and it paid off. I was so happy.

It's funny. Before I went home last weekend for my birthday, I was thinking that I was going to have to wait for college to suit me. But I think my problem was that I wasn't focusing on what was happening here at college. I was thinking about my house and family back home. I kept thinking about how I was missing out on their lives. But this is a new time in my life that it's normal to break away and learn how to live somewhat independently. It's different, that's for sure, and no one prepared me for how hard it would be to leave home, but I can't keep looking back. I have to look forward and live each day abundantly, the way my Lord would want me to live. I'm making so many friends, doing so many things, and I'm learning to seek after God in a whole new way. Yes, I miss my friends and family and hometown, but God has a new plan for my life here. I keep thinking about Jeremiah 29:11. He has this awesome plan for me, and I have nothing to fear. When I go to enroll for second semester, I'm changing my major to undeclared. I will be taking more general education courses that will give me an idea of what I want to major in. I know I'll be in general psychology, and that is a possibility for a major. I was talking to a girl today at lunch who is in my college algebra class, and she told me she's a psych major. Later today, when I was back in the room, I thought about wanting to major in writing and being an author. That's what I want to do. That's almost the easy way out to me. That's almost like a past time. I love it, but I don't know if I could sit through all the literature classes and write all the papers for an English major. But I want to help people. Counseling, psychology, social work; I don't know, but this is when I know that God does. He knows everything and I can't wait to see what He's going to do.

Well, I've written quite a bit here and I'm getting kind of sleepy. I will update more later.

Something to think about.

Last night at my college, the students saw a special viewing of a movie called, "Lord, Save Us From Your Followers." At first this kind of sounds like an oxymoron, but the movie was very good and very convicting. The star, writer, and producer of the movie, Dan Merchant, was also here to promote the movie and to have a discussion with us after the movie.

The basic theme of the movie is this guy in a bumper-sticker suit going all over America interviewing people. He asks them about God, Christians, if they are going to heaven, and is trying to solve the issue of "Why is the gospel of love dividing America?" That's kind of an oxymoron too if you think about it. So many people look at Christians and see narrow minded, judgemental, goody-goodies who don't care about anybody else's opinion but their own. Dan Merchant sets out on a three year journey to understand why Christians are like that and to get first-hand responses from the general public on their take of Christians.

Another basic theme of the movie is just loving others. Forgetting nationalities, if they are homosexual, bisexual, smell bad, if they are homeless; forgetting all our differences and listening to one of the last commandments Jesus gave before he was crucified: "Love others as I have loved you." He didn't say "love the ones you want to love." No, he said to love others.

In the movie, Dan Merchant is in San Fransisco and he interviews a male that is dressed as a nun drag queen--that's actually a description taken from Dan Merchant himself. He is undoubtedly a homosexual. This guy looks crazy. For the first fifteen minutes of the interview, Dan was tense and couldn't relax and was very fake (he told us all this during the discussion after the film). Then Dan said God spoke to him and said, "This guy is no different from you. I love him just as much as I love you." When Dan heard that, he relaxed and realized that God doesn't pick and choose who he loves and neither should we. That's a little hard to remember when people smell bad and are homeless, but God loves them just as much as he loves us.

I'm not sure when this movie is coming to theaters, but keep your ears and eyes open for it. It's definitely worth your time and money. If you want to check out the website, it is http://lordsaveusthemovie.com/home.html.

There are also plenty of YouTube videos on the subject as well, but here is one that can get you started. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmFHVkMud7k

Check these out and remember to love people. It doesn't matter if you feel like it or not, just love them. Jesus didn't feel like going to the cross, but he made a choice. Make your choice today.

Good News and Two More Days!!!

I found out today that I get to be a mentor at our local pregnancy resource center. When I first went to volunteer, they told me that college students couldn't be mentors. But one of my professors is on the board there, he petitioned for college students to be mentors, and now I will be the first college student to be a mentor. I'm really excited. I have to go through about a month of training, but I know it will be worth it.

I have a mid-term tomorrow and a paper due in the same class. But I have the paper done, although I still have quite a bit of studying to do for the exam. My dad called me today and we talked for around fifteen minutes. I really miss him. I haven't seen him in over a month, and if you didn't know, I am a major daddy's girl. He wants me to come home after my last class tomorrow so I could watch the football game with him in our town. (The football game is on a Thursday instead of a Friday because it's their fall break.) I told him I would love to except for the fact that I have college algebra on Friday and it would kill me if I skipped it. It's not really so hard, but if I missed one class I would miss a lot of information. I think we will both be glad when Thanksgiving break gets here.

I only have two more days before I go home, and I'm really excited. As soon as I drive into my town, I have to go straight to the tag office and get my driver's license renewed. It doesn't seem possible that it's already time for that. Talk about feeling old. I remember what I wore the day I got my driver's license the first time. Now I'm renewing it? What?

It's funny, every other year when I've had a birthday, I've counted down the days and anticipated it so much. But this year I haven't really cared. I think this is a sign that I'm really growing up. It's kind of weird, but I will grow in to growing up. It might take time, but sooner or later it will suit me.

Well, I've gotta go study for that mid-term. I'll share more later.

One More Week

I have one more week of being eighteen. That doesn't seem possible. It just feels like I turned eighteen yesterday. I'm going home this weekend to see my family and celebrate my two little cousins' birthdays as well. I can't wait to see them. It's been over two months since I've seen them, and I bet they are just as big as they can be. I miss them so much.

My mom and cousin came up this weekend to visit me. It was really good to see them. They are staying for chapel tomorrow to hear Don Piper speak. He wrote the book 90 Minutes in Heaven. I can't wait to hear him speak. I've heard him speak before, but I'm super excited to hear him speak again.

I'm praying about changing my major. God has brought so much to my mind lately. I just don't know where to begin. I think I mentioned I had read a book entitled Set-Apart Femininity. Well, I finished it, and it really woke me up to what a set-apart woman of God should look like in this day and age. I think one of the things it talked about really hit home. I've dreamed of falling in love for so long all the while telling God he was writing my love story. But so many times I would try to look and guess and see if I could find the man of my dreams. It was really bad when I first got to college because there was a whole new sea of fish, so to speak. But one of the points Leslie Ludy makes in her book is that we have to fall in love with Jesus and let him capture our hearts before we can fall in love on earth. She says that we have to come to the point that if we were single for the rest of our lives, we'd be okay with that because Jesus is more than enough. Heaven knows I'm not there yet, but that's where I want to be. I don't want to constantly think about a guy. I want to constantly think about God. I want to fall madly in love with Him. Another thing she talked about was the type of entertainment we watch and how we waste our time on it. I don't watch that many movies, but since I've been at college, I've watched more PG-13 movies than I have when I was at home. Not horrible, awful movies, but they've still been PG-13. And I've been convicted about that. I know I shouldn't be watching them. After reading this book and reading tons of scripture, I am going back to the "rule" that my parents had when I was growing up: no PG-13 movies. I don't even want to watch them. She said in her book that we would be thought odd truly living a set-apart life. But I don't really care. I'm going to live by the word of God and if anyone wants to make fun, they can take it up with God. He is what matters now. I'm really sick of living a sedentary "Christian" lifestyle.

What I'm really excited about though is the Wednesday night ministry we have here called Whitehouse. It's great. I get to minister to and talk to girls that are hurting and who need love. This week, as much as possible, I want to try to connect with them outside of Whitehouse. There is girl whose name is Jordan. She's a senior in high school here, and she's thinking about coming to college here. She's thinking about living in the same dorm as me, so I've told her if she wants to come hang out some time, she's more than welcome. It's all about investing in these girls' lives.

Well, I don't have to get up that early tomorrow, but I still need to head to bed and get that beauty sleep (wink wink). I will keep updating, and you keep praying.

Fall...It's definitely here!!!

So I went to the park today. I took my book, my camera, my free McDonald's coffee that I was glad was free because it wasn't very good, and I went and stared in awe of the beauty of fall. The park in my college town is very beautiful. There is a pond in the middle of it and the trees are starting to turn the most gorgeous, breathtaking colors. It's wonderful.

I've been reading this book entitled Set-Apart Femininity. So far it's pretty much the best book I've ever read. It's written by Leslie Ludy, and she does a great job of showing what a real set-apart lifestyle for Christ looks like. I love it, and I'm almost done with it. But as I sat in the cool breeze with the beautiful trees overhead, I just couldn't help but praise God. I thought that if the scene around me was as beautiful as it was, how much more beautiful is God? I just loved it.

I'm thinking about changing my major. I guess I should say I'm praying about it. This last June, I surrendered to work with teenage girls. I have felt that call on my heart for a long time. But the more I've been thinking about it lately, the more I've realized that English and working with teenage girls don't really have a lot in common. For a long time, I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I told everyone that until God told me what he wanted me to do, I wanted to study English. But he hasn't told me what he wants me to do. I've just assumed he wants me to do that. I love to write, don't get me wrong, but is that what God wants me to do for the rest of my life? That's what I'm praying about. If I do end up changing my major, it will probably be toward the areas of psychology and counseling. I would love to be a high school counselor.

There are a lot of things I would like to do and I think until I take more of my basics it will just take me time to realize what it is I'm called to do. College has been so eye-opening for me already. And I've only been here a little over a month. That seems so hard to believe because it feels like I've been here forever.

Well, I'm gonna call it a night. I will write back soon.

Homecoming!!!

So this week is homecoming for my school. There are events taking place all week long. The best thing about this week is that my mom, cousin, and brother are all coming up to see me on Saturday. I'm really excited because my cousin and my brother have never seen the campus before and I'm super excited for them to see it. My cousin will be staying with me in my room. We will have to figure out her sleeping arrangements, but that won't be too hard. She'll probably bring a sleeping bag and a pillow or something.

But yeah, I'm loving school more everyday. I'm talking with more friends that I haven't talked to in a long time on Facebook, and I'm learning more everyday how awesome God is. He is my sole source of constancy. Some days I don't know what I'm supposed to do about certain things, but I just give them to God and I am at peace.

The biggest thing I can't believe is that my 19th birthday is coming up. That doesn't seem possible. My little cousins are turning three, my brother will be fifteen in December, time is going by so fast.

Well, it is late, and I need to go to bed. I have an American government test tomorrow. Such fun. Anyway will write more later.

Goodbye September, Hello October

Well, I officially have one month of school underneath my belt. I can't say if I feel like it's gone by fast or slow. It's just kind of gone by. The weeks are going by faster though which I think is good. There at the beginning they just seemed to drag on.

In my first class today, we had a guest speaker and she was talking about career options in our future and other stuff like that. Another thing she talked about was studying abroad. I have wanted to study abroad for forever. I think my top pick would be London, England. There is a girl in my class that would love to go also, and so if our parents agree and we raise enough money, we might go together. But I will have to work my behind off and pray. I just think it would be such an awesome experience. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

I can't believe we only have three months left of 2008. It just seems like last year I was getting everything ready for graduation and now I'm working on getting graduation requirements out of the way and gen-eds. My parents have always told me that the older you get the faster the time goes by. They were right. It's just going by so fast. But a good part about that is in roughly two weeks, I get to go home for my birthday. I'm going to be 19. That's what seems impossible. I remember this time last year I was so looking forward to being 18. I was going to get to vote. Well, I have voted, and now I'm getting ready to turn 19. It's kind of an in between year. I'm not 18 anymore, but I'm not 20 yet either. It's kind of weird.

Well, I shouldn't be on here at all. I have way too much stuff to do, but I find that I have to take breaks. (ADD?) No, I don't think so, but I can definitely tell that the way I study here is different than when I studied in high school.

I'm going to go, but I will update later.